I've been sitting in this lobby for family court for an hour waiting to be summons in so we can get this shit right here started. I definitely have my game face on and every time my father asks me i'm I okay I want to scream hell naw and lay across his lap and cry but something in me won't let me.
Four years ago when my son was born I never thought in a million years i would have to hunt his father down and brings things to a head like i'm doing now...smh.. At first I was just going to let this whole situation burn but that would have been letting him off to easy. We both made him...chose to keep him and its now Just I who is taking care of him. Its ME who wipes his tears, plays football with him, make sure he's ok I'm the one who is his mother and his father. This whole situation is strange to me because him and I were together for years and when i found out I was pregnant with Zahree he was all hands on deck..Dr.'s appt, naming, being supportive he was doing it all and when our baby boy made his appearance he was all hands on deck he was super daddy did everything plus more for him but shortly after Zahree's 2nd birthday his father became a thing of the past. First he broke up with me, moved out and to Miami...then over a course of maybe 4 months he just dropped off the face of the earth...His phone calls stopped, money wasn't getting sent anymore and he changed his number...plus his family tried to sell me the dream that they had no idea where he was or what he was doing...sure ya right. But it was cool my parents didn't raise no fool so i did what i had to do to proved for him...long hours at work...working weekends whatever it took by any means necessary and that hustle still continues to this day. At first i was just going to take the L and continue on without him being around but Zahree is just as much as his responsibility as he is mine. I got accused of being jealous and vendictive because he had moved on with is life had another baby and found himself a well paying job.....LMAOOOOOOOOOOO....Never that at all....I will admit finding out he was playing house did rub me wrong becasue he was giving my son the short end of the stick but this whole thing was never about money which his family thinks i'm after.I think they may have forgot that I do well all on my own so it is not about the money its the principle of it all. How dare you erase my son from your life like he doesn't matter. I'm the one who has been faced with the why my daddy don't love me questions and Is today the day my daddy is coming to see me today? and I'm tired of not having answer for him and I'm tired of it...its his turn to have a answer for him. I knew this wasn't going to be an easy battle and he proved that to me the last time we were here a couple of months ago when he asked for an DNA test and for partical custody which i knew he was going to do he is always trying to prove a point...i don't know what the point is he trying to make but it isn't hurting me at all. I just want him to step up and play his part in my sons life all this extra shit i don't care about.....Even if the judge denied me child support i wouldn't phase me at all thats not what i'm seeking all i want is for his father to be apart of his life..
I think i just heard my name...lets pray that this all goes well.
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