Dear Zahree #14

Dear Zahree,

I didn't know what love was until January 16, 2006 when you were born..all 9lbs 9oz of you.  I remember finding out I was pregnant with you and not knowing what to do...should i keep you, give you up I was just so confused..you weren't planned and I didn't think i was ready to take care for another person but the moment I heard your heart beat I knew what I needed to do.  For months I planned for you, read every book, watched every dvd, researched on the internet i just wanted to be fully aware of everything when you got here.  Your father and I saved the sex of you until the moment you came out we wanted to be surprised wanted it to be like opening a new gift but deep down inside I knew you were a boy.  I was in labor with you for almost 48 hours..pushing, breathing and waiting on you finally you made your appearance and you did  at 3:45pm and instead of crying you came out with a smile.  They placed you upon my chest, we locked eyes and I knew that my sole purpose in my life was to protect, love and provide for you.  I spent the next couple of days in the hospital watching every move you made I didn't want to miss one moment of your life.  Your father and I spent so much time getting ready for you that we forgot to pick out a name for you...we spent hours combing our brains trying to figure out something appropriate for you.. Jaelyn, Phoenix and Xavier were all in the running but we just couldn't decide until the moment your Aunt Teka walked in held you and started calling you Zahree you opened your eyes every time she said so we just knew that was who you would be.  I wasn't complete until you came into my life you have given me purpose.. You changed my life Zahree so much I never thought I had the power to love someone as deeply and strong as the love I have for you.  Everything I do and all that I am is for you...there is not a moment that you don't cross my mind or fill my thoughts. I take a breath every morning not only for me but for you too, its doesn't matter where in this world i am or how far away i may seem my heart beats for you.  Everyday you grow a little, everyday i want to cry my baby boy is no longer a baby but a big boy to think one day you will be a man and won't need your mommy anymore.  I just want you to know as long as there is air in my lungs to breath that I will always be here for you...form your first broken heart to everything else before , in between and after that you will always have me here to count on no matter what.  I know there is alot of things you just don't understand about what is going on right now but I promise that when you are little older you will see why mommy had to do the things she had to do. Zahree you are the love of my life,I love you more than life itself,  it shall be no man who will ever receive the love that i give to you nor shall any other man ever occupy my heart the way they way you have.

Love always,

Mommy

My fave pic of Zahree