My First Love #20

My love affair with Devin begun around 10 years old in  Connecticut. My mother would send me and my brothers along with some of my cousin there every summer to stay with my Great Aunt.  And every summer like clock work until I was 16 years old Devin would be there waiting on me.  Devin Graham was the the little rough boy from around the way who hung out with all the older boys and got in to a but loads of trouble to me he was the love of my life back then. from June until late August I would spend almost every waken moment with the tall little light skin boy with the green eyes.  Every morning like clock my cousin Mia and I would get up grab a box of cereal, and some other snack and head over to Devin's house. We would always stop at the corner store grab some milk or juice or whatever else we could afford to have all day. Devin's house was a rough place his mother was runnin' the streets and he was left to care for his brothers so the least we could do was make sure they ate from time to time.  My Uncle warned me  numerous  times to stay clear of Devin Gramham but I just couldn't. I didn't see the wild, aggressive little boy that the world saw I was in love with the walks in the park, holding hands and buying me ice cream little boy that I saw everyday.  Summer after Summer Devin would be right there where I left him and summer after summer was spent with him. I watched Devin change over the years the once mischief little boy who only wanted to break windows was now a teenager who just wanted to make money ....and by anyway he did.  I use to hear stories of Devin's actions from the other kids...the robbing people at gun point to the beating the hell out of a crack head but the Boy i knew was just full love sweet kisses and hugs.  Devin would shower me with gifts all summer long from the freshest Jordan's to the most expensive jeans Devin's was hustling and spending most of his money on us. The last time I saw him was the summer before my Junior year of high school, I snuck out of my Aunts house when everyone was fast asleep to see Devin one more time before I headed back to DC to begin the school year. I met him at his usually location I remember being shocked at the familiar but unfamiliar face that stood there his face was cold and his voice so intense not the smiley face soft spoken Devin I had grown to know. I spent the next hour or so waiting and watching the Devin I never knew. He whisked me away and we spent the next couple of hours laughing, joking and talking, that night was different than our usually time together it felt perfect to that 16 me. So perfect that I made the decision that he was the one ...the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with ...the one who I was going to give my virginity to.  And I did..and woke up the next morning laid in his arms....I didn't even care that I was going to get the beating of my life, i was 16 and in love. The last thing Devin said to me was You know you my girlfriend...I love you and see you next summer, i sprinted up the hell to face my fate.  That evening I was to return back to Dc but it was brought to halt by the gun fire from the corner store and the police who blocked off the street....my father couldn't take us anywhere until the crowd cleared out. I didn't think twice about the police or the gun shots that was the norm for that neighborhood I didn't budge or move, all my cousin's were accounted for along with my brothers so i never got worried at all until the moment I saw my god brother walk in that door.  His face was full of sorrow and pain plus sweat ran all down his body he stared blankly at my aunt and screamed....He's dead....they Shot Devin for no reason He's dead....Devin is dead...those words still ring out in my head and everything from that point forward is blurr...riding back to DC ad returning in a week to attend his funeral in which my Uncle helped his mother pay for is a blurr.  I cried myself sick for weeks....I had lost my very first love before it had a chance to begin. I swore I was never gong love again or love anyone the way I loved him.  I still hold a place for him in my heart to this day...My first Love Devin Gramham...I never saw him as the hopeless child everyone else did i saw him for who he really was the Real Devin.  If you walk into my dining room right now there is the last photo i took of him framed along with the last letter i received from him. He use to write me a letter everyday no matter if i was in CT or not I got mail from him.....The last one i got came days after his death and its simply said I love you forever don't ever forget that. I smile every time i see it and think of my first love Devin Gramham