I met Teddy my first year at Howard University...he sat next to me in a math class we took and failed together...lol. He was what I need at the time juts somebody to support and help me get through these next 4 years of school with my bulimia riding on my back. He was the one who opened my eyes to ME and how beautiful I really was. He stood with me in the mirror when I was seeing nothing but fat and ugly and he also grabbed me when I tried to flee to the bathroom to let go of all of the fridge I had stuffed down my throat. While Teddy was helping me he was also trying his hardest to hide who he really was. The moment I met him I didn't really know what he was....one minute he was as manly as can be and the next I felt like I was chattin' it up with one of my friends. I felt like he was two different people at time Theodore when we walked around campus and Teddy when we where alone in my dorm, I never questioned or asked about his actions I just let it be. Junior year off campus we moved and we finally felt free, even when we moved in together Teddy never changed his actions he still lived his double life. The girl loved him he is tall, dark, athlete built, smart and tatted up they threw themselves at him and he always kept a bad bitch on his arm and in his room..so of course that just mad me think that him being gay was just something i made up in my mind. Teddy is one out of 7 kids...the pastors kids and his family was and still is all about god, the bible and church so I understood why he hiding who he really was. Also being African American and gay is hard and attending an historic black college while being gay is even harder so i knew he was hiding it. Hell i didn't care if he was gay he liked and loved him for he was not who he was sleeping with. I was laying in my room phone boning with DMV at 3 am when Teddy busted in with tears rolling down his face...I hung up the phone and focused solely on him. He grabbed my hand looked in my eyes and said " I can't live my life like this anymore...lies that all i have been telling since i can remember god wouldn't want me to live my life trying to be something that I'm not...I'm Gay and i just needed to tell someone" I wasn't shocked at all, I've always known he was either gay or bi sexual, he told me that he was forcing himself into liking girl and having sex with them but he felt nothing. I supported Teddy just like he had done me and we together told his parent who shut him out of their lives soon after his confession but he did have love and support of his siblings. I watched Teddy finally become free...finally become who he really was. We graduated HU together and until I pregnant with my son who lived together, I pull some of my strength and pride from Teddy it take a strong person to be able finally come out of the closest when he did. Its 2010 and teddy hasn't seen or talked to his parent since the day he announced he was gay...I know this is one the hardest things in his life since family means so much to him but he's my family now...my mother and father embrace him as if he was their own . I know It doesn't make up for his own family but I just hope it brings some type of confront to his heart. I took much honor that he came out to me, that he trusted me enough to reveal his secret that he had been holding. From that point forward Teddy stop being just my friend and officially become my brother and I love him just the way he is.
2 comments:
Wow...to have his parents turn their backs on him?! That has to be one of the most hurtful things that anyone could ever experience. Parents should love their children no matter what. He will forever be grateful to have you in his life!
that's cool, yall both were what each other needed. i'm scared now cause i'm almost 100% sure you know my girlfriend from howard. i will NEVER reveal her name. lol.
but for real. i went to morehouse. and i guess since the school was all dudes no one feels pressed to impress or front. so it's not the same "hiding" situation i guess it was for Teddy. long story short, one of my friends i grew up with and went to morehouse with came out to me. which it was kinda weird, because i def didn't see that coming. and of course at first i thought he was telling me cause he wanted to get with me.
but honestly it changed my whole outlook people being gay. he's still my boy. still the same person. he could just be real with himself..which allowed him to be real with me & everyone else. now it's not even something we think about.
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